I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize