Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
