I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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