their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just had sex on a roof
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
