handjob tips. give me some.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm always down for nudity.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
