Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
