Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
