Screwed.edu
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
