My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
