So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
