***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
