i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
