I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
