At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
