i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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