dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
