found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
...so i touched it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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