I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
