Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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