nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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