Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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