so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
