worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
