Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
the raccoons are back...
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