you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
