its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
