I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
