ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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