apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
