HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am naked and annoyed.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
