Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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