I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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