I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
