I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
