i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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