What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
