hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
