He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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