The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize