I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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