OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
