I just made out with a guy for $7.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
