i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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