You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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