it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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