I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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