what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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