Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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