What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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