I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize