If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
