Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
