i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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