I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
