we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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