I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
