When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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