I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
