yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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