I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
