drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
