Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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