Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
